A herd of buffalo

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the
herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are
killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole,
because the general speed and health of the whole keeps improving by the
regular culling of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human
brain can operate only as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive
intake of alcohol, we all know, kills off brain cells, but naturally it
attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular
consumption of beer eliminates the weaker cells, constantly making the
brain a faster and more efficient machine. The results of this in-depth
epidemiological study verifies and validates the causal link between
all-weekend parties and professional performance. It also explains why,
after a few short years of leaving a university and getting married, most
workers cannot keep up with the performance of the new graduates. Only
those few that stick to the strict regimen of voracious alcoholic
consumption can maintain the intellectual levels that they achieved during
their university years. So, this is a call to arms. As our country is
losing its technological edge we should not shudder in our homes. Get back
into the bars! Drink that beer! Your company and country need you to be at
your peak, and you shouldn't deny yourself the career that you could have.