Irish Bar Fight

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over
by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and
bruised and he's walking with a limp.

"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.

"Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.

"That bastard, O'Conner," says Sean. "He couldn't do al that to you, he
must
have had something in his hand."

"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin'
he gave me with it."

"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have
something in your hand?"

"That I did," said Paddy. "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it
was, but useless in a fight."