Short & sweet #1

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A psychologist's secretary comes into the office.

Secretary: "There is a man in the lobby who thinks he is invisible."
Doctor: "Tell him I can't see him today."

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Fishing Wisdom

Give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day
Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

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Scientists have recently discovered a food that greatly reduces sex
drive, its called wedding cake!

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After many years of collecting data, Cambridge sex researchers have
determined that the human penis may be classified according to one of
five basic size groups: small, medium, large, "Oh my God!" and "Does
that come in white?

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What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?

Bad Golfer: "Whack!" "Shit!"

Bad Skydiver: "Shit!!" "Whack!!"

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Life sucks. I lent a guy ten grand to get plastic surgery, and now I
don't know what he looks like.

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A truck carrying copies of Roget's Thesaurus over-turned on the
highway. The local newspaper reported that the onlookers were "stunned,
overwhelmed, astonished, bewildered, and dumbfounded."

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Q. Why was the blond sniffing Sweet & Low?
A. She thought it was Diet Coke!

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Gender Inequality?

Why is it when a man talks nasty to a woman it's Sexual harassment and
when a woman talks nasty to a man it's $3.99 a minute?