Tale of the three mice (Midwestern)

After attending the funeral of a Texas mouse killed by an eighty year old lady with a broom, three mice, one from Minnesota, one from Iowa and one from Nebraska, are sitting at a bar trying to impress each other regarding how tough they are.

The Minnesota mouse throws down a shot of bourbon, slams the empty glass onto the bar, turns to the Nebraska mouse and says, "When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it twenty times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese."

The Nebraska mouse orders up two shots of tequila, drinks them down one after the other, slams both glasses onto the bar, turns to the Minnesota mouse and replies, "Oh yeah? When I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it up to a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."

The Minnesota mouse and the Nebraska mouse then turn to the Iowa mouse.

The Iowa mouse finishes the beer he has in front of him, lets out a long sigh and says to the two,
"I don't have time for this bullshit. I gotta go home and have sex with the cat."